Day Four: A New Plan

Of late I've been running over a mile daily, which is quite the turnaround from whenever I could hardly even run a block. People are starting to look to me for advice, saying that I am a natural confident leader. At work one of my co-workers even asks me if he can go to lunch. Daily. It's adorable in a weird way. Everyone assumes that I've worked there for years except for the people that know I have hardly been there two months. I'm not exactly proud to be knowledgable about my Wal-mart, but at least it's something! I'd rather keep my mind off of the fact that I still haven't gotten my job placement yet. Which is acceptable! In other and more innocent news, one of my good friends had her first kiss! Now you may be wondering why a 19 year old girl is just now having her first kiss. I'm wondering the same thing to be honest. She's gorgeous, funny, and extraordinarily brilliant. I offered numerous times to be her first kiss jokingly, but let's be honest here, I really wanted to be quite badly. She's in the Merchant Marines and has been studying at their academy for a year and a half. If it weren't for her I probably wouldn't be going into the military at all. I'd just stay at Wal-mart or something dumb like that.  If I'm to be completely truthful with myself I know that it'd never work out between us anyway. I'm too crass. She's so much like a flower, and I a machine. I'd crush her and her spirit. That cannot happen. At any rate, I have no time for dating. Especially not when she's halfway across the country.

I'm split in several different ways today. I talk on occasion with a fairly famous director. I want to have him help me get to the top when it comes to acting, but I also want a degree, money, experience, time, and not to strain our friendship with such a large request. Sometimes I wish I could jump forward in time.

Anyway! I want to talk about a crazy day I had a week back or so. Try to figure out which of these stories isn't true! 

1. While at work I had a woman climb on the shelves and knock boxes down to spite me because they were "Too fucking far back" and I didn't help.

2. I caught a young man licking the cans for no apparent reason.

3. A woman yelled at a girl for having an epilepsy dog.

4. An elderly woman started dancing and talking about how her nine year old grandchild will probably die soon.

If you guessed all of the above then you're really good at this game! I got written up twice that day without being able to explain myself which is frustrating, but fine with me. It's not like I'll be there long enough for it to matter anyway. Oh yeah, and I'm already quitting. I hate that, but I'm going to Austin to see my family before I go. I think they all need someone to vent to. It's weird to be the family therapist when you're the youngest one.

So long for now,

Dalt

Day Three: Some Time Later

It's been a while. Having a full time job has taken up my time. I feel angry. I don't really want to, but that's not up to me. The thing about being this age is that you get no respect. Not to sound like I'm bitching, because I'm not. People think that if you're from mid-teens to early twenties all that you're up to is causing problems and doing drugs. Obviously I'm doing neither of those things, but that doesn't matter to anyone. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't talk to his family much. That's kinda why I have to vent here. I guess I have a lot to say.
There's a place we find ourselves; in between large life choices. It's like being in the middle of a four way stop. Which way to go? You don't want to go back, forward seems terrifying, but you never know what's off to either side. All of them are tempting, yet I'm unable to choose which route I wish to go down. All it takes is the first step.


So long for now,

Dalt.

Day Two: Air Force Explanation and Last Year

As I awaken this morning I begin to think of my new goals in life. I plan on joining the United States Air Force (hence the name of the blog), getting through college, and someday being a happy man with a wife and some kids. That seems so boring now that I say it out loud. I also want a tiger... And a falcon. Now my life is badass.

Anywho, I have become a bit of a fitness nut since being recruited early this March. I hate running, but I love the feeling after the run of "Holy shit I just ran three miles... Bet Jim can't do that!" In that scenario Jim was a fake name that I made up for the point of saying that I'm in good shape now and I'm proud of it. I cannot even express how amazing it feels to get up and feel more strength day by day. I almost feel like I should go be a vigilante or something. Almost.

It seems about time to recap the last year. I began my freshman year at University of the Ozarks last fall and did surprisingly well. Halfway through the year I had a 4.0 and I realized that I was not being challenged whatsoever. I looked toward other programs for film (my one true passion), but all of them were soaring toward the 70,000 range and I knew we couldn't make it. So I did as any young and able bodied American would do in this sort of a situation. I blindly and rashly enlisted in the military. During this year I have only officially dated one woman; Alexa McCamey. She twisted things around on me in a way I never would've expected. She manipulated me and kept me thinking that everyone in our friend group was mad at me, so I never went out to see them. It has taken me a good while to try to love again. I attempted at dating a few times, but it never seemed to work out in my favor. Darby didn't think I trusted her, Devyn's partygirl lifestyle was too much for me, but now Jordyn. Jordyn has come along and accepted me for all of my faults. I don't know why she'd do such a silly thing as to accept a man like myself, but she has. I am in no way a Christian, but she loves me all the same. Every time I'm with her she'll hold me and tell me that she'll never let me go. I like to feel like someone won't leave for once. I may have abandonment issues.

This is it for today. I have to go to work out and then get ready for work. Walmart workin'! Hey, a job's a job.

So long for now,

Dalt

Day One: Introduction and Origin

Dreams change as life goes by. What starts out as a definite chance of happening ends up in failure as you realize that there is no way that you can be an actor. That may just be me. This blog is mine. It is for me and me alone. If someone else finds it then they can read my thoughts, but as of now it is not to be proudly shared. This is where my thoughts are, my dreams, my disappointments. This is where my ambitions go, my motivations, my achievements. This is a place of safety that I have created for myself, because no where else can I be myself.

To this point I sound either depressed or manic. In my on opinion I am neither. I am just a man who wishes to be heard, but the only person who will listen is myself.

May 26th, 1994. The day I was born. Plopped directly from a warm uterus into a bath of water heated exactly to the internal body temperature of a pregnant female. It's odd how only nineteen years later I cannot seem to remember being born. Seems like a grand enough day for me to care about it. I suppose not. All jokes aside my birthing was apparently no easy task. My older brother supposedly slipped right out of my mother as if he was escaping finally, but I took my sweet time. I was holding on for dear life causing mother much grief and pain. In a way our births perfectly described the relationship we were to take with our birth mother. I held on until the end and then caused her great pain, but my brother couldn't seem to care less about the poor alcoholic.

Onto today. I am sick, but not to any sort of deadly degree. I want my death to have purpose. Solomon's death had purpose in that he brought us all together. Mine will have purpose in proving the human will is capable of great things. That's my only wish for myself. Everything else I have surpassed in a way that I am quite pleased with.

I have always required a way to get my thoughts out and share them with someone. On this day I finally got the motivation to start my blog because I'm in a bit of a pickle; currently I have negative twenty six dollars and eighty five cents. With much luck and much determination I will never be so desperate again.

So long for now,

Dalt.